Went and Ruined It
by Trinity23Rose
Summary: When Nora finally explains why she ran back in time, Caitlin discovers that she might have just gotten a real shot at happiness.


When Nora finally explains why she ran back in time, Caitlin discovers that she might have just gotten a real shot at happiness.

* * *

"I think it's time you tell us the truth," Barry said in a voice that basically let his daughter know that she really was in trouble now.

She froze while still holding on to the picture she was just examining of the original team Flash with Eobard Thawne as Wells. She knew she made a mistake the moment the words were out of her mouth, but it was too late now. This entire day she'd been dropping hints here and there, that maybe Cisco should breach them all to Earth Two for a small visit, that maybe Caitlin was better off without Killer Frost, she didn't exactly had to go out there and look for danger, right? Or by following Barry like a lost puppy who just found its master. Yes, Nora West-Allen most definitely screwed up. She already told everyone how she rescued her father from being obliterated by the falling satellite and at first they all assumed she was just randomly travelling to the past to witness their parents' wedding or meet the younger versions of her family.

They all knew better after putting some thinking into it, didn't they? She sighed when placing the picture back on the shelf and bracing herself before facing the team. Of course they did, her own father being an excellent testament to why no one should travel back in time, to why even the smallest, seemingly meaningless change could cause a rapid butterfly effect.

"Are we all…" Barry hesitated before finally saying it, "alive? Back where you come from?"

Nora closed her mouth shut, preparing herself for what she would have to tell them.

"We're not, are we?" Iris guessed. "What happened, Nora? What did you need to fix so badly?"

"Yeah, I'm sure if I… if I was around, I taught you all about the consequences of traveling to the past," Barry backed his wife up. "Just tell us. We won't judge. We're family. We will help you."

"The first time I travelled back it was to actually meet her," Nora confessed, looking at stunned Caitlin. The older woman had to blink a few times before that sunk in, suddenly feeling sick.

"Is that why you wanted me to stop trying to bring Killer Frost back?" she asked. "Because it was _she_ that did something? Or… was it actually _me?_ "

Nora sighed once more before continuing, "Do you remember exactly what I did?"

"You spilled your coffee all over me and Harry. He got mad, needless to say and we headed home. He wasn't in the mood for a chat anymore, so we just said our goodbyes and went our own ways."

"I said 'Killer Frost and I go and ruin it', but it wasn't the only thing I managed to _ruin_ that night," Nora followed with, causing an even bigger confusion. "Caitlin, that night you and Harrison Wells of Earth Two were supposed to start a relationship."

"Come again?" Cisco immediately asked whereas the rest was just silently staring. Caitlin, on the other hand, seemed hurt like someone slapped her. So it _wasn't_ just in her head? Harry really had… She felt as though her whole world started to spin, thrown off its axis.

"You were supposed to get together," Nora continued, nervously playing with her fingers, "and you two dating would cause Wells to be less focused. You never found the way into DeVoe's lair that day you lost Killer Frost. In fact, you never lost her because DeVoe didn't take her, but… well… Harrison's lack of focus caused him his own life when he miscalculated something in the intelligence booster. He died that day in the time vault, testing his device with Gideon. And you…"

"Went full on Killer Frost," Cisco gasped, connecting the dots. "You already lost Ronnie once and when this happened to you yet again…" He turned to Cait, his mouth agape.

"You did defeat DeVoe," Nora followed with, "since his plan regarding Wells didn't exactly work out and he couldn't use S.T.A.R. Labs satellite anymore. Killer Frost was MIA as she knew how to hide from you. Through the years there were only frozen and shattered bodies found until you did come across her trail and… well, she killed you," Nora turned to Barry. "For me it happened just a while ago. She didn't stop there. Uncle Cisco fought her and she shattered his hands. Uncle Ralph tired next and she froze him when he was stretched, shattering him to millions of small particles that we could never…" Nora closed her eyes shut at the horrible memory whereas Caitlin's filled with tears. "And you forbid me to fight," she then turned to Iris, her mother, "you made me escape. Where I come from… we can stop speedsters by temporarily draining them of their powers and that was what you did." It was clear to everyone that Nora still held it against her mother. "I could never forgive you for that and once I recuperated enough… I ran back in time. I stopped Caitlin and Harry from getting together that night. It seemed to be the one small change I needed to make."

"Why then? Why couldn't we just start a relationship later? It seems so… insignificant," Caitlin just had to ask that, already bracing herself for the answer.

"Because it was the day during which Jesse Quick told her father to move on and he actually believed he could. If only you weren't interrupted, you'd both get there, but once I spilled that coffee… He bailed. Buried himself in work. Now I can only guess here, but from my observations… oh, yes, I did a lot of those," she admitted to her father, feeling abashed as he shot her a look. "Wells convinced himself that this thing between you two wouldn't work because of the age difference and you coming from different worlds. That was it," she finished when facing Caitlin.

"And then DeVoe took control over our satellite and I died saving you all," Barry guessed another horrible ending. "And you would never be born as Iris isn't pregnant yet."

"I had to stop it," Nora admitted. "I'm sorry. The problem is that I can't get back to the future now. What you did," she shot Iris a brief look, "it's still in my system and I drained enough of my energy those past few weeks that I can't seem… I just want to get back! God, I'm sorry!" She started to cry now, finally breaking. "I'm so, so sorry!"

"Hey, hey, it's ok," Barry got to her and put his arms around her. She clang to him like a child who knew how it was to lose a parent and suddenly got him back. "I know how it is. I understand why you felt so angry and how strong the grief actually was. I understand, ok? We can fix this. You're still here and that means Iris is still going to get pregnant and we will have you."

Caitlin chose that moment to leave the room, already feeling so shaken up that she couldn't seem to calm herself down.

Cisco noticed her retreat and followed her.

"Caitlin! Cait, hey!" He caught up with her by the elevators, but by the look on her face he could tell that she had no idea where she was even going.

"You heard her, Cisco," she told him with tears in her eyes. "I find happiness again and I lose it _again_! When does it stop?!"

"Maybe right now," he told her when placing his hands on her shoulders. "Cait, maybe it stops now. I know that Nora screwed up, but I can't help but feel grateful for it. Harry is all right. Barry is alive. You, you might not have Killer Frost anymore, but you're still Cait, my best friend."

"And now whatever I do, I can't get her back, can I? Because despite her changing, despite her helping the team, we can never be sure what happens. We can never be sure what _I_ might do."

"Hey, hey! You are not losing anybody else, ok? You heard it yourself, Harry might've lost his focus in that other horrible timeline, but we're _here_ now, _right here_ and he's still out here, alive, on his earth."

"Exactly. He left. _Again_."

"And before he did, he told you that he loved you."

"Don't be ridiculous, Cisco. I think I'd remember."

"He was subtle, I give him that. He said I love you too and glanced at you briefly before making a dash for the door as though a speedster was chasing him. Trust me, he does love you. Now as I think of it, it does make sense. He was a little too touchy-feely before he left."

"But he still _left_."

"He didn't have his intelligence back. The woman he loved was more occupied with getting her villainous alter-ego back than spending time with him, so yeah, he thought he was useless and he left. It's so Harry. But you can change that."

"Cisco, will you stop… What are you doing?!" Caitlin suddenly asked when Cisco raised his hand. "Oh, no! Cisco! Wait! You can't…" But it was too late. Her friend just basically opened up an breach to which he threw her before closing it behind her, very happy with himself.

And she was most definitely _not_. Because she landed on all of her fours.

For a moment she was confused, not knowing where she was exactly, just relieved that what she felt underneath her hands and legs was a soft carpet. At least she couldn't blame Cisco for bruising her during her undignified landing.

Then it only got worse as she heard the all-too-familiar voice calling her, " _Snow_?"

She got to her feet quickly, feeling her head spin and then noticed that she was in his office. It must've been the S.T.A.R. Labs on Earth Two, judging by the view behind the window.

Next, she finally dared look at Harry who was now standing behind his desk, having probably just raised from his chair. On the desk before him was a small hologram with…

"Speedforce language?" she couldn't help but ask, for the moment ignoring the reason to why she landed there unannounced. "Oh, my God, Harry!" she then exclaimed when pointing it. He did turn it off, but he did it a little bit too late. "This brought your mind back and now you can _speak_ this language?!"

"Um… technically, yes. I've been… I've actually been studying it," he admitted.

"So you traded one intelligence for another. That's… Is that even safe?" she immediately asked when remembering what Nora had revealed to her.

Harry furrowed his brows when hearing that. "Safe? Of course it's safe. Why would you ask that? Why are you even here? I mean, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy your company immensely, but…"

"Um… I…" Now that she was actually here, facing the man she obviously loved and was terrified to lose as she'd already done in one timeline, she didn't know what to tell him. Or maybe she should just say it was a prank Cisco pulled on her and she would soon be out of Harry's hair if only he pointed her the way to his breach room? That might be the best solution, she thought, because maybe she wouldn't get to end up with this man, maybe she wouldn't get to be with him, to build a future with him, but if this way she kept him alive, she would make the sacrifice gladly.

In that moment, her _friend_ – as he probably still dared call himself – foresaw this turn of events since another tiny breach opened and a flash drive appeared on Harry's desk.

"Don't touch that!" Snow screamed, trying to get to him, but he was closer and faster so he snatched it, now even more intrigued than before. Damn it!

She quickly entertained herself with the idea that maybe it wouldn't work on Earth Two, but yeah, she should have known better than to think so as Cisco had already been in this universe and exchanged ideas with Harry, for example – getting Barry out of the speedforce.

Harry inserted the drive into his laptop that lay aside on his desk and played the clip.

Caitlin's mouth hung open as she heard Nora explain why she'd travelled back in time. She didn't even have to wonder how Cisco got it on tape as there were cameras all over the Labs. Their security system was a little too up to date if someone asked her.

She forced herself to look everywhere but at Harry, even missing his reaction to seeing Nora and guessing she was Barry and Iris's daughter.

Finally, the silence fell like some kind of a curtain of doom and Caitlin still couldn't look at the man in front of her.

"Snow." She nearly jumped when hearing his voice from so close and she realized he must've made his way to her, now standing right in front of her, his blue eyes so close she wasn't able to breathe.

She quickly forgot about her own mortification when she saw the look on his face. It was anguish. It was pain. It was hope. Surprise. Happiness. All at once as it seemed. And she had no idea how to handle it.

"If this was the me from before I lost my intelligence I probably wouldn't do this," he finally said.

"Do what?" She just to ask, because obviously, she was clueless.

"This," he made it clear before taking her face into both of his hands and kissing her. Harrison Wells was actually pressing his lips against her own and her whole body was immediately set on fire, awakened for the first time since… She couldn't even remember. In fact, she didn't remember what she was afraid of and why she was in his office in the first place. All that mattered was that he was finally kissing her. All that mattered was the electricity jumping between them, the sparks his kiss ignited, his body so close to hers, his heart beating in the same frantic rhythm as her own when she unconsciously pressed her hand against it, feeling the hard planes of his muscles underneath the black t he was wearing.

Finally, after what seemed like a whole eternity, they tore away from each other, breathless, resting their foreheads against one another.

"So…" he spoke, "I take this is our new beginning?"

She seemed to have woken up just then, making a step back.

"If this… If you…" She shook her head, trying to gather up her thoughts. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"You did hear West-Allen junior, didn't you?"

"Um… yes. And about all of those worries of yours, Harry… I couldn't care less for your age or the fact that you're from another earth."

"I know that now."

"Good. But I still don't think we should do this."

"Sure... Wait, what?" He was confused now.

"I don't think we should be together, Harry. What if whatever happened _then_ , can happen again?"

"Snow, you will never be able to foresee what's gonna happen. You can only live in the right here and now."

"I know, but…"

"Hey," he closed the distance between them again and she wished he hadn't because it made it really difficult for her to think, "I _promise_ you I will never do anything so stupid like using an intelligence booster again, ok? I know now what really matters."

"If so, then why did you come back here?"

"You know why. I was…" He came to a stop and sighed before making a step back and running his hand through his hair. "On Earth One only _you_ mattered to me, Snow. I mean, I couldn't stay there, knowing I'm going to see you every day and not be able to be with you."

"I know I kept my distance. I know I got too wrapped up in Killer Frost, but I did try to help you and you pushed me away."

"I did. I knew we had to use all of our resources to stop DeVoe because we were running out of time and then… well, I wasn't _me_ anymore. By the time I realized that I loved you, you seemed light years away."

"You love me?" she asked stupidly just then, picking up on that.

"I thought that was kind of obvious."

"I love you, too."

Now it was his turn to be surprised as he was just standing there speechless and staring into her eyes and then at her lips. In the end, he suggested, "What if I come back to your earth with you? My newly found speedforce intelligence might come in handy when restoring West-Allen junior's powers."

"I think that's the best idea you could come up with, dr. Wells."

"Not a doctor anymore, remember?"

She shrugged. "Then get a PhD in speedforce. I bet you'll be the smartest man alive _then_ as no one has figured it out yet. See? We do need you." She smiled at him, but he was serious for a change.

"Caitlin, I promise you to be careful. I won't recklessly put my life or anyone else's, for that matter, in danger ever again."

"I guess this is all I could ask of you," she finally admitted, seeming placated enough.

"See? I knew my convincing technique would do the trick. We're in this together, dr. Snow, for _ever_."

"I'm pretty sure it was the kissing that turned off my brain, but… suit yourself, mister."

"I thought I was a doctor," he pretended to be offended when making his way to her again.

"Not yet, you're not. PhDs take time."

"Luckily for us, we got all the time in the world," he teased when taking her into his arms and resuming kissing. "What do you say for a day off first?" he then suggested. "We can always make the trip to Earth One tomorrow."

"Sounds good," she agreed, enjoying the touch of his lips on hers. And she couldn't wait till they did more than just kissing, her body desiring him so badly. She should also thank Cisco. Tomorrow. Maybe he was her friend, after all.

But today she and Harry would simply celebrate life. In bed.

* * *

 **AN:** Ok, I don't know how much sense this exactly has and it might not be my best work, but I had to write it once I came up with it. I was actually vidding snowells and it gave me the idea, but you will have to wait a little more than a week for that video. You'll know why once it's uploaded.


End file.
